Day 19

   Thoughts:  Consider what you would be willing to shre with others today.  How you would articualte your experience, and what it has meant to you in terms of your relationship with God?

   I would like to say I would share all I know with others, but I know myself to well.  When writing I can say about anything, but when it comes to speaking I tend to shrink and forget all.  I lack boldness in speaking, but not in writing.  Yah crazy I know, I don't really understand it myself.  I have never been comfortible front and center.  I would rather just kinda sit in the shadows where it is safe & thier is no conflict.  I can tell you this though, the Lord is working in me and I pray He changes that about me.  I want to be comfortable sharing Him with others and do it boldly.  I don't want to be the ball of nerves student I was in school, rocking back in forth in my spot, nerviously sweating while sharing my report.  My greatest fear is misrepresenting the Lord in some way.  Saying or doing something wrong, yet I know I am an imperfect human & I will never be perfect.  I guess you could say I am fearful of all the judgemental people in the world, not excluding myself of coarse.  I certainly don't desire to expose all of myself(flaws and all) to them, in fear of judgement.   As I write these blogs I do so as the Lord reveals this stuff to me.  This is a blog of my journey with the Lord during my fast seeking the Lord.  What I am writing is my God speaking to me showing me things I must trust in Him for and work on also. 

   Prayer Focus:  Revival

   Tonite I will be sharing a bit of what is in our journal & praying for revival in churches, homes, relationships, families and His temples....


   Revival is when Earth is attacked by heaven.  Revival is an swesome move of God that affects you in powerful ways.  Revival is when you get closer to heaven than you are to anything on Earth.  We need revival in America.  We need Heaven to touch Earth with power.  So, as you near the end of your fast, pray for revival.  Ask God to send the rain of His Spirit on the land to break up the hardned hearts and bring forth a harvest of souls.  Cry out for it as a desperate man crying out for water in the dessert.  Our young people need revival. 

   I spent the begining of my day writing about what I consider my top 5 hurtful/painful memories (a thank you to my small group leaders).  From these top 5, stem a list longer than I can name, but I am moving trusting the Lord to lead and guuide me through it all into my destiny.  I may not be an over nite change, but I know change is in store for me.  The Lord has spoken to me on a few occassions with some direction about some changes & additions I need to make in my daily life routines.  I would like to say I am perfect & have stuck to everything like a military soldier, but I'm not gonna lie.  I am trying and making effort, I know He see's me and isn't surprized, angry or disappionted, but glad and proud...becuse if you could see me in the shape He's seen me,  you'd know it's improvement and I believe He takes pride in us seeking Him and making all the effort we can to get out of our pits.  Sometimes he just wants to see us move toward Him, even if it's just a tiny bit.  All I want is the Lord, because I know that He's the one who can help me with or through anything.

Thank You Jesus for your percious blood.