Yep, it's early & I am writting becuse I am about to burst. I was going to just write about some of the things the Lord has been dealing with me about so far today, then I went ahead & picked up my Fasting Journal and about came out of my seat.
My thoughts thus far today: I am in the process of dealing with hurt, anger & unforgiveness that I have swept under the rug for years. In realizing that this stuff has remained under the rug yet still in my mind, I have come to understand that just becasue you hide it, it doesn't mean that it isn't there...all the hurt, pain & memories rise ocassionally and cause me relive these things. When this happens I literally relive in my life the hurt & pain, the feelings resurface and I withdraw. I am sick and tired of the devil having this strong hold on me. It's as if he is ridding my back like a monkey. I have said I give these things to God and yet they still surface. I am sick of sitting back idlely and letting the devil attack me over and over...I just see him now sitting back laughing at me yet again, because his evil tricks I keep falling for. I am not saying I am going to fix this myself, but I am saying thier is a difference in giving up and giving something to the Lord. I feel like I have given up..just sitting back waiting on God to do something. I have given this stuff to the Lord, but I feel as if I may have just given up and sat back seeing all the spiritual warfare going on in my house/temple(myself & marrige) just waiting on Him fight my demons and just put a stop to everything all the sudden & one day it'll just be over. I have given up fighting, I see things not getting better, but worse and I have to admit..I have wanted to give up at times, I guess you could say in a way I have. Since I have just laid back & let the devil ride me like a monkey...I am so mad that I let myself do that again, if the devil is gonna be ridding my back I don't want it to be easy for him, I should be fighting back with all I have...I should be a wild bull, flopping him around like a rag doll bullrider at a rodeo. If I am not doing what the Lord has ask me to do then I am working against Him, insted of with Him. He tells me to put on the full armor of God, to seek Him and I will find Him, I will find His strength in my weakness, He is my strength and my shield. I am clenging to this verse Math. 11:23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. This is Jesuses words. It is time for me to take some action as my faith is stayed in Him and speak the Word to my mountains in prayer, praise & worship, and speech. Watch out, thier will be no more monkies riding my back, long trem. You may see a ragdoll flopping around now and then, but it is time to deal with this stuff insted of sweeping it under the rug and letting it hitch a ride in my mind and emotions. I will be fighting the good fight of faith (O:
Now for the Journal-
Thoughts for your journal: Examine any areas of unforgiveness & bitterness that the Lord is aking you to surrender to Him.
Yah, I know rite...I have been examining all morning and the Lord had to show me what was up with me...wake up call!
Prayer Focus for the day: Binding Opression and Fear, no coincidence hugh? Wow God can just slap you in the face sometimes. I am just thankful to have His guidance and correction.
Prov. 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Job 5:17 Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: Pro 3:11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction.
Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
2Ti 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
Written in our Journal, this stood out to me most of all: There may be times in your life when your enemies or circumstances seem to be so large and so powerful that they are all you can see. When you magnify the Lord, you shrink the supposed power of your enemy, the devil.
Psa. 34:3-4 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
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Michelle that is so true for me as well. I have been battling depression since I was in High School. I am tired of being this way but am struggling to get rid of the monkey on my back.
ReplyDeleteJust never give up!
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