Day 14

  God doesn't need our routines or savor heartless activity.  He doesn't want our "leftovers."  True worship that comes from our hearts feeds Him and satisfies Him;  it is something He desires-and deserves.  -J. Franklin

   Remember: 
  * Listen to your favorite worship CD's
  * Focus on meditation and listening for God's still, small voice.

   Thoughts: 
   * Praise God for bringing you this far, and thank Him for His steadfast presence.

   Prayer focus:  Discernment

   Hebrews 4:12  says " For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

  Today I wanted to take some time and learn more about myself.  I wanted to see some of my faults and well I did.  I am a very sensitive person.  It also doesn't take much to change my mood.  I am bothered easily and I tend to pull away when I feel hurt or rejected.  Today I realized that I allow myself to hurt more than anything else.  I would say I am a glass half empty person, yet I know that I haven't always been that way.  Something has happened to me over the past 12 years.  I don't remember always feeling this way.  I feel like I have slowly dwendled down and transformed into a person I don't know or recognize at times.  I am sure some are going to read this and think, boy..she's suppose to be a Christ follower & she's all that.  Wow!!  Well thier are positives, but today I choose to look at the negative.  I desire to learn my weaknesses and seek the Lord in getting better and doing better.  I don't wish to wollow in my pits, I desire to grow from them.  The only one who can help me do that is Him.  Like I said in a previos blog, I have tried it on my own and it hasn't worked, so I know for sure...I need HIM!
    Well I will  be the first to tell you that Christians aren't living the perfect little lives never effected by anyone or anything.  We go through things just like everyone else.  We have our weeknesses and faults.  We are only human, we make mistakes and by no means are we perfect...we don't always act like we out to or say just the right thing.  We aren't flawless and I am about tired of people acting like we are suppose to be.  The only difference in a beliver and a non-believer in my opinion is that a beliver is saved by the grace of God and we recieve his mercy in our short commings(we recieve Him).  I once heard it told that, what we Christians call sinners aren't actually the sinners...they have never been taught any different and are only doing what they know.  Christians that read the Bible and know right from wrong, we are the sinners.  That is why I believe that the alter isn't just for people to recieve/accept Christ and get saved...it is also for the sinner to cry out to the Lord for forgiveness and repent(which can be done at anytime anywhere).  Which I have to do multiple times a day...ahhh what, you say...multiple times a day, yes I have made many trips down that aile to the alter just to ask the Lord to forgive me and just to LOVE or worship Him.  Through out my days I hear the Lord tell me different things...to pray for someone, don't eat that, stop don't gossip or you shouldn't be doing that exc...and then I have to choose to respond and listen to Him or not...it is a choice and I do not always make the right choice.  But I pray that the Lord will help me to be more obedient.  I would like to say..Don't judge me God isn't through with me yet & He won't be until my time on earth is done.  That goes for us all (O:

   Tonite my prayer is that the Lord will help me decern the things in my life(people, places, relationships, aditudes, everyhing).  Things that should go or things I should welcome in.  I know that the Lord is growing me and I am thankful for such a kind, forgiving, loving, merciful heavenly Father.  Nothing compares to Him.  I love you Lord and I surrender all to you.  Thier are times when I feel like giving up, throwing in the towel and turning the other way...when things just don't look like I think they out to or I feel your aren't working quick enough.  I know though, that my thoughts aren't your thoughts and my timming isn't your timming.  I am just trusting in the blood of Jesus and waiting on your promises.  Because I know that you are not a God that can lie.  I pray that the Lord's angels will encamp around my babies as they are on this lifes journey and that they will know you, more that I do!  In Jesus precious name, AMEN!