I am...

As  I lay in bed this morning I couldn't help but think about all I am and have been in my life without the Lord.  I am a bit lazy when it comes to working out, I tend to procastinate.  I am a thief, a liar, and often covet.  I have commited adultry and murder.  I know I have broken probably all the 10 commandments repeatedly.  By no means am I bragging or giving my self a pat on the back for doing so.  I am merely aknowledging what I am without the grace of God.  You see I have recently learned that the grace of God isn't just in salvation, the grace of God gives us the ability through Christ to do things we couldn't normally do on our own or in our own strength.  I am talking about overcomming our past and looking to our future in who we are in the Lord and going to Him humbly on a daily basis for all we need.  I know I wrote in my blog, (somewhere in the 21 day fast) about how I felt throughout most of my life... that I never really knew who I was or what I wanted to do in life.  We are all missing something and I really felt that void from a early age, I just didn't understand it or know what it was or who it was for.  As an adult I now see that we all have that void in us.  That void is a feeling of a need in yourself for a special unconditional love which only the Lord can provide.  No person, drug, habbit, or anyting self soothing can fill that void.  You see no matter how hard we try to soothe ourselves and fill that void with somthing else, the more we are being self distructive(alot of times it is pride-it likes to hideout sometimes in us, I found this out the hard way).  The Lord doesn't want us being so independant as to never need Him, he desires for us to seek Him out on our own and follow Him willingly without force.  A God of love isn't going to force His creation to want Him, you see that void was created for Him to fill and what we do with that void is our choice.  That is our free will to choose our own destiny.  I have now found my true self in the Lord.  I am so thankful that through the blood of Jesus, I am free from my past and future attacks from my past.  No matter how many times a day, year, hour or minute I may have to stear it in the face and say to it "get behind me satin". Satin is a liar and the father of lies, he will do whatever it takes to try and take you down and keep you from moving forward for the Lord.  The key is to recognize when he is comming against you with your past, trying to convince you that  the past is who you are and then you let  him know you recognize him and what he's trying to do to you and call him out, let him know you remember he is a thief and a liar...he wants to kill, steal and distroy our future and who we can be in the Lord.  The devil knows what we can be in the Lord and he is afraid of who we can be through the Lord and what we will be able to acomplish with the Lord. Recognizing the lies are easier than you would think, if something from your past arises it is the devil..the acuser of the brethren.  If something doesn't agree with God's word it's a lie and don't fall for it.  Speak God's word to it.  Never fall for anything less than the truth, for it is a lie for sure.   I always feel confident in  knowing I am forgiven and everything I am now is through my Lord and He is working on me on a daily basis because I humbly choose to include Him daily.  I am not perfect and will never be perfected until the day the Lord calls me home, but my faith is in my creator.  I know he is working in my life and making changes in me...sometimes I follow freely and sometimes I may struggle with the freely part and put up a bit of a fight.  I don't claim perfection, I claim that the great I AM(One of God's names-for those who might not know) is leading me and guiding me through this journey of life into the true person that I am in Him.  I just love the Lord and am so thankful that no matter what I or you have done, He is always there with open arms and unconditional love for us all..His will is that no man should perish, he loves us all deeply.  No matter what someone has to say about me from my past or present I know and have to keep in mind that is who I was and I have to keep moving forward with who He is making me in Him.  We judge people on a daily basis and rip them apart with our tongues.  That isn't what we are here for.  We are here to spread and show the Lord's unconditional love.  I am trying so hard to put this into practice myself, some days go good and sometimes I just get plain FLESHY...a term I use when I take over, forgetting lifes not all about me!  When this happens I turn back to the Lord ask for forgiveness, don't beat myself up and move forward in His love and grace.  Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed (O:  Don't look back at your past just keep moving forward with the Lord in all you do.  Grow in Him each day, it is a journey and thier will always be something new ahead.  It may not always be easy, but you have a promise that you won't be alone.  The Lord will be there for you, just let Him.  I always try to remember to forgive those who try to judge me for offense births bitternes and unforgiveness.  For those practicing judgement  know nothing about my personal relationship with God, it is real...I can see and feel the fruit of it...without a doubt He is real and working still in people and lives.  I pray that the Lord will help me remember to stay humble,  be forgiveing , love everyone and not judge.  BE CONFIDENT IN GOD!